* Keeping Promises

Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your “Yes” be yes, and your “No”, no, or you will be condemned. James 5:12

Are there people living in the shadow of your unkept promises? Is it too late to go back now and try to make amends? There’s one Bible story in particular that teaches us that it’s not too late. And it’s the story of King David and Jonathan.

King David and Jonathan were the best of friends through incred­ible challenges—and the biggest one was that Saul, Jonathan’s father, ruthlessly hunted David and tried to kill him for years. Yet, Jonathan’s love for David was strong and didn’t diminish. As a re­sult, David made a promise to always show kindness to Jonathan’s family.

But for many years that promise went unremembered. And Mephibosheth, Jonathan’s only living son, lived for a long time with the pain of David’s unkept promise. But then, David sought Mephibosheth out and kept his promise—he gave Mephibosheth all the land Saul once owned and allowed him to live in the palace as one of his own sons. It took him a while, but he held to his promise. And you can too!

* The Secret of Living

Philippians 1

When money is our objective for happiness, we must live in fear of losing it, which makes us paranoid and suspicious. When fame is our aim, we become competitive lest others upstage us, which makes us envious. When power and influence drive us, we become self-serving and strong-willed, which makes us arrogant. And when possessions become our god, we become materialistic, thinking enough is never enough, which makes us greedy. All these pursuits fly in the face of contentment
and joy.

Only Christ can satisfy, whether we have or don’t have, whether we are known or unknown, whether we live or die. And the good news is this: Death only sweetens the pie! That alone is enough to make you laugh again.

The Living Bible states: “For to me, living means opportunities for Christ, and dying—well, that’s better yet!” (Phil. 1:21). The New Testament in Modem English, J.B. Phillips’s paraphrase, reads: “For living to me means simply ‘Christ,’ and if I die I should merely gain more of him.”

What is the sum and substance of all this? The secret of living is the same as the secret of joy: Both revolve around the centrality of Jesus Christ. In other words, the pursuit of happiness is the cultivation of a Christ-centered, Christ-controlled life.

When Christ becomes our central focus,
contentment replaces our anxiety
as well as our fears and insecurities.

* Beginning Your Day with God

O Lord, grant me strength and peace that
I may greet all that this day is to bring.

Allow me the grace to surrender myself
completely to Your holy will.

In every hour of this day instruct and guide me
in all things.

Whatever news may come my way in the course of this day,
teach me to accept it with calmness and the conviction that
all is subject to Your holy will which governs all.

Control my thoughts and feelings in all I do today.

In all unexpected occurrences, do not let me forget
that all is sent down by You.

Teach me to act with sincerity and wisely towards
everyone, that I would bring sorrow and confusion to no one.

O Lord, grant me strength to endure the fatigue of the coming day
and responsibly act on the events to take place.

Direct my will and teach me to pray, to believe, to hope, to suffer,
to forgive and to love.

* The Power of The Word

When we think of “The Word of God” many Christians will quote Hebrews 4:12; “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” This is an amazing Scripture!

Yet, it is often not realized that the Word of God is also connected to the power of God. The Word of God is used many ways in Scripture. It is used of the written Word, as any form of communication from God, and it is one of the great titles of the Lord Jesus Christ. In any of these uses, the fact is God speaks and makes Himself known to people.

In Hebrews 1:3, we have the indication that God’s Word is associated with physical power. This verse not only tells us that the Son, the living Word “made the worlds,” but also that He is “upholding all things by the Word of His power.” This means that Jesus Christ is sustaining all matter and physical phenomena of the universe by “the word of His power.”

Only in modern times do we now know that everything in the physical universe is basically and fundamentally energy. All matter that affects the senses—light, heat, sound, etc., are merely different forms of energy. Einstein formulated the equation that describes the equivalence of matter and energy which has served as the basis of modern revolutionary discoveries in the field of nuclear energy. Next time somebody praises Einstein, remember it is Christ who is behind it all as the Creator and sustainer. All glory goes to God!

The Lord Jesus Christ is the ultimate Source of the infinite power (or energy) which revealing itself through the outworking (the Word), is the agency by which all the physical universe is “upheld.” The living Word of God supplies the power for keeping the matter of the universe from disintegrating, and for enabling it to manifest all the amazing physical phenomena that makes up God’s creation.

Take a moment and let your mind wander as you ponder God’s amazing creation and your place in it. Think of the amazing power of the universe. Let this create a thirst for God and a desire to know more about the depths of His glory.

It has once been said that if you fill Dodger Stadium with its seating capacity of 56,000, each seat with someone who had a different PhD in their respected field, all this knowledge would not even scratch the surface of God’s depth in creation. When we realize it is Jesus Christ, our Lord who is behind all of this, why would we ever fear man? We are to fear God—that is to have awesome reverence for who He is and what He has done.

This is truth in real space and time. One could get educated in the great universities of the world and not arrive at truth. We who have had our eyes and hearts opened have wisdom and insight that the world does not. Those who have brilliant minds can share great facts about the creation, but do they truly know the Creator?

We as Christians need to think deeply about these issues and not compromise by fearing man. We need a high view of God because He is God and there is no other. We have been given insights the world will never know, yet because they are made in God’s image they will seek after them and sadly reject the One who created it all. We truly are blessed and need to share this blessing with others.

12. Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and practice these principles in all our affairs.

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. (Galatians 6:1)

* Christ in Creation

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse--Romans 1:20

According to this remarkable verse of Scripture, there is clear witness to the God of Creation to be seen in the created universe. Every person who has ever existed has been confronted with this testimony of Creation to the nature of the God who made it.

Even if a person never opens a page of Holy Scripture, he cannot escape confrontation with the Christ of Creation. He is without excuse!

But how can this be? “No man has seen God at any time” (John 1:18). How is it possible that the “invisible things” of God can be made visible, so that they are “clearly seen”?

These “invisible things” are summed up in two great concepts, those of His “eternal power” and His “Godhead.” Or, one might say His work and His person. The fact that He is God of infinite and eternal power, one of “eternal power,” is revealed plainly, according to this verse in the created universe.

God’s very nature, His “Godhead” is also revealed in Creation which means that Christ is revealed in Creation. The very essence of the Godhead is found in Jesus Christ. (Colossians 2:9)

The very Godhead is clearly revealed in nature by the “things that are made”, which really means God’s poetic handiwork. We see this in Ephesians 2:10 where it is said that we who are redeemed by His grace are similarly His “workmanship” or handiwork. God is the ultimate poet! This is all summed up in its fullness in the Lord Jesus Christ.

There can therefore be no question that Christ has been revealed in Creation. He is Himself the Creator (John 1:3, Colossians 1:16). He now sustains and upholds the Creation by the word of His power (Hebrews 1:3, Colossians 1:17), and He is the light that lights every man that comes into the world (John 1:9)

Take a moment and reflect on the following verses;
John 1:18--No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father's side, has made Him known.

Colossians 2:9--For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form.

Ephesians 2:10--For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

John 1:3--Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made.

* Thanksgiving--Its Origin

What is the origin of America's annual Thanksgiving Day?

The Pilgrims left Plymouth, England, on September 6, 1620. Their destination? The New World. Although filled with uncertainty and peril, it offered both civil and religious liberty.

For over two months, the 102 passengers braved the harsh elements of a vast storm-tossed sea. Finally, with firm purpose and a reliance on Divine Providence, the cry of "Land!" was heard.

Arriving in Massachusetts in late November, the Pilgrims sought
suitable landing place. On December 11, just before disembarking at Plymouth Rock, they signed the "Mayflower Compact" - America's first document of civil government and the first to introduce self-government.

After a prayer service, the Pilgrims began building hasty shelters. However, unprepared for the starvation and sickness of a harsh New England winter, nearly half died before spring. Yet, persevering in prayer, and assisted by helpful Indians, they reaped a bountiful harvest the following summer.

The grateful Pilgrims then declared a three-day feast, starting on December 13, 1621, to thank God and to celebrate with their Indian friends. While this was not the first Thanksgiving in America (thanksgiving services were held in Virginia as early as 1607), it was America's first Thanksgiving Festival.

Pilgrim Edward Winslow described the Pilgrims' Thanksgiving in these words:
"Our harvest being gotten in, our Governor sent four men on fowling [bird hunting] so that we might, after a special manner, rejoice together after we had gathered the fruit of our labors. They four in one day killed as much fowl as... served the company almost a week... Many of the Indians [came] amongst us and... their greatest King, Massasoit, with some ninety men, whom for three days we entertained and feasted; and they went out and killed five deer, which they brought... And although it be not always so plentiful as it was at this time with us, yet BY THE GOODNESS OF GOD WE ARE... FAR FROM WANT."

In 1789, following a proclamation issued by President George Washington, America celebrated its first Day of Thanksgiving to God under its new constitution. That same year, the Protestant Episcopal Church, of which President Washington was a member, announced that the first Thursday in November would become its regular day for giving thanks, "unless another day be appointed by the civil authorities." Yet, despite these early national proclamations, official Thanksgiving observances usually occurred only at the State level.

Much of the credit for the adoption of a later ANNUAL national Thanksgiving Day may be attributed to Mrs. Sarah Joseph Hale, the editor of Godey's Lady's Book. For thirty years, she promoted the idea of a national Thanksgiving Day, contacting President after President until President Abraham Lincoln responded in 1863 by setting aside the last Thursday of November as a national Day of Thanksgiving. Over the next seventy-five years, Presidents followed Lincoln's precedent, annually declaring a national Thanksgiving Day. Then, in 1941, Congress permanently established the fourth Thursday of each November as a national holiday.

Lincoln's original 1863 Thanksgiving Proclamation came - spiritually speaking - at a pivotal point in his life. During the first week of July of that year, the Battle of Gettysburg occurred, resulting in the loss of some 60,000 American lives. Four months later in November, Lincoln delivered his famous "Gettsysburg Address." It was while Lincoln was walking among the thousands of graves there at Gettysburg that he committed his life to Christ. As he explained to a friend:

When I left Springfield [to assume the Presidency] I asked the people to pray for me. I was not a Christian. When I buried my son, the severest trial of my life, I was not a Christian. But when I went to Gettysburg and saw the graves of thousands of our soldiers, I then and there consecrated myself to Christ.

As Americans celebrate Thanksgiving each year, we hope they will retain the original gratefulness to God displayed by the Pilgrims and many other founding fathers , and remember that it is to those early and courageous Pilgrims that they owe not only the traditional Thanksgiving holiday but also the concepts of self-government, the "hard-work" ethic, self-reliant communities, and devout religious faith.

Following is the 1863 Lincoln Presidential Proclamation - celebrated shortly after Lincoln committed his life to Christ and celebrated while America was still in the midst of its Civil War. It was this proclamation which eventually led to the establishment of our national Thanksgiving holiday.

by the President of the United States of America

The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful years and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the Source from which they come, others have been added which are of so extraordinary a nature that they can not fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever-watchful providence of Almighty God.

In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere, except in the theater of military conflict, while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union.

Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the field of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship; the ax has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than theretofore. Population has steadily increased notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege, and the battlefield, and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union.

In testimony wherof I have herunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.

[Signed]
A. Lincoln

* Thoughts

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.--Philippians 4:8

Thoughts are the thermostat that regulates what we accomplish in life. If I feed my mind upon doubt, disbelief, and discouragement, that is precisely the kind of day my body will experience. If I adjust my thermostat forward to thoughts filled with vision, vitality, and victory, I can count on that kind of day. Thus, you and I become what we think about.

Neither Dale Carnegie nor Norman Vincent Peale originated such a message. God did. “For as [a man] thinks within himself, so he is” (Prov. 23:7). “Therefore, prepare your minds for action” (1 Peter 1:13).

The mind is a “thought factory” producing thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands of thoughts each day. Production in your thought factory is under the charge of two foremen. One we shall call Mr. Triumph, the other Mr. Defeat.

Mr. Triumph specializes in producing reasons why you can face life victoriously, why you can handle what comes your way, why you’re more than able to conquer.

Mr. Defeat is an expert in the opposite. He develops reasons why you cannot succeed, why you’re inadequate, why you should give up and give in to worry, failure, discouragement, and inferiority.

Give a positive signal, and Mr. Triumph will see to it that one encouraging, edifying thought after another floods your mind. But Mr. Defeat is always standing by, awaiting a negative signal (which he would rather you call “reality” or “common sense!”), and when he gets it, he cranks out discouraging, destructive, demoralizing thoughts that will soon have you convinced you can’t or won’t or shouldn’t.

Thoughts, positive or negative, grow stronger when fertilized with constant repetition. That may explain why so many who are gloomy and gray stay in that mood . . . and why those who are cheery and enthusiastic continue to be so.

What kind of performance would your car deliver if every morning before you left for work you scooped up a handful of dirt and put it in your crankcase? The engine would soon be coughing and sputtering. Ultimately it would refuse to start. The same is true of your life. Thoughts that are narrow, self-destructive, and abrasive produce needless wear and tear on your mental motor. They send you off the road while others drive past.

You need only one foreman in your mental factory: Mr. Triumph is his name. He is eager to assist you and available to all the members of God’s family.

His real name is the Holy Spirit, the Helper.

If Mr. Defeat is busily engaged as the foreman of your factory, fire yours and hire ours! You will be amazed at how smoothly the plant will run under His leadership.

* Healthy Step-Families

Healthy Step-Families
by Steve Arterburn

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

In 1990 I was given the privilege of a lifetime: the opportunity to adopt a wonderful little girl who has forever changed my life my precious daughter Madeline.

In 2005, I made a new journey into fatherhood as two little boys became my stepsons. James and Carter are so smart and loving. It’s been a tremendous blessing for me to be what they call their “bonus Dad” and for them to be my “bonus boys.”

And this past year, I became a biological father with the birth of my son, Solomon. I’m now a thrice-blessed man and I believe no less than three times a better man as well.

I know from experience that there’s amazing potential in blended families, as well as formidable challenges. There are a lot of sug­gestions and a lot of rules and boundaries blended families should consider. But the most important one of all is to keep God at the center of your home.

The best way for you to develop these character traits is to have a vibrant relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

“Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” -Charles R. Swindoll (1934-)

* Joy in God's Presence

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid: you are worth more than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29-31)

Do you spend time in God's presence praying, singing praises to Him, and bowing before Him? These are things that each of us benefit from.

Do you feel too reliant on your own strengths or too proud to bow or sing to God? If that's the case then look with me at a real man in the Old Testament. The psalms of King David are songs that still give us direction and hope. David was a man who knew his own sinfulness yet was able to sing, "What joy for those you choose to bring near, those who live in Your holy courts. What joys await us inside your holy Temple." (Psalm 65:4)

God wants you to know you are welcome and valued before Him.
The joy you find in His presence each day will help you stay tuned in to His desire for you. Worship and prayer will remind you of how great and holy God is. You'll gain a new appreciation for how gracious God is to forgive you and allow you into His presence.

When was the last time you prayed and sang to Jesus? If it's been a while, try it. You'll experience something very special. You'll continue the process of being transformed into the image of Jesus Christ.

The challenge of feelings
All of us, especially those in recovery are aligning old feelings with new feelings. It can be quite confusing at times. When you heard above that you are valued before God, what was the first thing that entered your mind?

These “first thoughts” are so important to take note of because they reveal the inner life. This is what’s great about the step-study small groups—they ask us to bring to surface those buried feelings that can enslave us from experienced joy.

It has been said that faith comes before feelings. Allow your feelings to draw you to God, confess any known sin (wrong doings towards others past and present), make things right (amends), and accept that Jesus forgave you on the cross. Forgiveness has been given, we just need to go back to the cross and receive it once again. Come to God in faith on what Jesus already accomplished on the cross. It is Christ plus nothing!

We need to do our part—accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, confess our wrong doings, make amends, and walk by faith in what has been accomplished on the cross. Joy in His presence is available for those in Christ--and it is joy our hearts long for, not all the false substitutes the world offers.

Joy is not dependent on circumstances! The Apostle Paul makes this clear in his epistle to the Philippians--a letter he wrote while at the end of a two year prison sentence in chains, yet still full of joy in the Lord. Amazing...but this is also available to us if we walk by faith and believe.

The Steps in Practice:
1. Accept Jesus as Lord and Savior and confess our wrong doings.
I admitted I was powerless over my addictions and compulsive behaviors. That my life had become unmanageable.
I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. (Romans 7:18)

I came to believe that a power (Jesus Christ) is greater than myself and could restore me to sanity.
For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. (Philippians 2:13)

I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. (Romans 12:1)

I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.
Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD. (Lamentations 3:40)

I admitted to God, to myself, and to another human being, the exact nature of my wrongs.
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5:16a)

I was entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:10)

I humbly asked Him to remove all my shortcomings.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

2. Walk by faith in what has been accomplished on the cross.
Salvation is accomplished by the work of the Christ alone. His sinless life and substitutionary atonement alone are sufficient for our justification and reconciliation to the Father.

* It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1).

* Now the just shall live by faith…(Hebrews 10:38)

* Jesus the author and perfector of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you may not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:2-3)

* For we walk by faith, not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7)

* While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18)

* Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. (1 Peter 1:3-9)

* A Day with You

~~~ A Day with You ~~

I woke up this morning, with you on my mind,
I remember my blessings, so gentle and kind,
Whispers and friendship, with a fire in the spirit,
I'm so grateful you allow me to share it,

The gift of your mirror, is special to me,
For when I gaze in it, I know what you see,
A sinner who's careless in thought, word, and deed,
I'm humbled by knowledge, you planted the seed,

And if I spend enough time, loving you,
You always forgive me, and show me the truth,
Mistakes that I make, you help me correct,
When I give them to you, we always connect,

My heart gives me pain, to think of your loss,
You gave your sweet Jesus, to die on the cross,
To atone for all sinners, you knew it must be,
Yet I know in my soul, you did it for me,

Correct me oh Lord, when I fail in your Word,
As I give in to flesh, and the things I have heard,
God give me the wisdom, to do what is right,
In Your Holy eyes, in Your gracious light.

* Chasing Ambulances

“So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.” (Galatians 3:24-25)

State law requires a motorists to pull over to the side of the road when being passed by a lights-on, sirens-blaring emergency vehicle.

The thing is, most of us recognize this as a standard requirement when driving. We learned it in Driver’s Ed, we memorized it for the written driver’s test, and we’ve seen it modeled by drivers every time an emergency vehicle approaches.

So why would there need to be a tougher, “we’ll ticket you” law to push drivers to the side of the road? Isn’t pulling aside for emergency vehicles ingrained in us?

It may have been ingrained at one time, but I’ve noticed over the past few years that many drivers seem reluctant or hesitant to pull over. Maybe we’re less concerned about following the law. Perhaps we’ve lost sight of the fact that emergency vehicles are responding to a critical, time-is-of-the-essence, lives-may-be-at-stake crisis situation.

Then again, maybe it’s because we’ve all gotten so busy and so self-absorbed in our own lives that we don’t want to be inconvenienced by slowing down, no matter what kind of emergency crosses our paths.

When it comes to pulling over to the side of the road, a rule that used to be “in our hearts” now requires a law, written on the books for all to see, in order to get everyone to comply.

As silly as that seems, God had to do the same thing. He never intended for us to live under the law; he designed us to live by his spirit. But because we refused to comply, God sent us legislation – starting with 10 commandments – to push us toward holy living.

It means, to echo the Apostle Paul, that the law is a school of Christ, teaching us the holy ways of God. More importantly, it teaches us that we must be dependent upon God (not just his ways), that we must be guided by his spirit – or we’ll never successfully graduate from milk to the meat of an abundant life.

God wants you to operate in such a way that you no longer need legislation (or willpower, or guilt) to force you to follow the rules because the rules will now be written on your heart by the very hand of God.

* Lost Prayers

In the day of my trouble I will call upon You, for You will answer me. —Psalm 86:7

The headline read:
Unanswered Prayers: Letters To God Found Dumped In Ocean

The letters, 300 in all and sent to a New Jersey minister, had been tossed in the ocean, most of them unopened. The minister was long dead. How the letters came to be floating in the surf off the New Jersey shore is a mystery.

The letters were addressed to the minister because he had promised to pray. Some of the letters asked for frivolous things; others were written by anguished spouses, children, or widows. They poured out their hearts to God, asking for help with relatives who were abusing drugs and alcohol, or spouses who were cheating on them. One asked God for a husband and father to love her child. The reporter concluded that all were “unanswered prayers.”

Not so! If those letter-writers cried out to God, He heard each one of them. Not one honest prayer is lost to His ears. “All my desire is before You,” David wrote in the midst of a deep personal crisis, “and my sighing is not hidden from You” (Ps. 38:9). David understood that we can cast all our cares on the Lord, even if no one else prays for us. He confidently concluded, “In the day of my trouble I will call upon You, for You will answer me”

God has given you His promise
That He hears and answers prayer;
He will heed your supplication
If you cast on Him your care.

* The Unrivaled Power of Prayer

Today marks the new devotional format. From time-to-time an article will be posted relating to recovery issues. When this takes place, I will make note of it in the devotion and the article can be found under Articles to the right of the site. If you have a need for a specific topic related to recovery, email me at the address to the right.

The Unrivaled Power of Prayer
We do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered —Romans 8:26

We realize that we are energized by the Holy Spirit for prayer; and we know what it is to pray in accordance with the Spirit; but we don’t often realize that the Holy Spirit Himself prays prayers in us which we cannot utter ourselves. When we are born again of God and are indwelt by the Spirit of God, He expresses for us the unutterable.

"He," the Holy Spirit in you, "makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God" ( Romans 8:27 ). And God searches your heart, not to know what your conscious prayers are, but to find out what the prayer of the Holy Spirit is.

The Spirit of God uses the nature of the believer as a temple in which to offer His prayers of intercession. ". . . your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit . . ." (1 Corinthians 6:19 ). When Jesus Christ cleansed the temple, ". . . He would not allow anyone to carry wares through the temple" ( Mark 11:16 ). The Spirit of God will not allow you to use your body for your own convenience. Jesus ruthlessly cast out everyone who bought and sold in the temple, and said, "My house shall be called a house of prayer . . . . But you have made it a ’den of thieves’ " (Mark 11:17 ).

Have we come to realize that our "body is the temple of the Holy Spirit"? If so, we must be careful to keep it undefiled for Him. We have to remember that our conscious life, even though only a small part of our total person, is to be regarded by us as a "temple of the Holy Spirit." He will be responsible for the unconscious part which we don’t know, but we must pay careful attention to and guard the conscious part for which we are responsible.

Praise God that Celebrate Recovery addresses these issues of defilement and lead us to Christ and new life in Him. We are new creatures in Christ, old things have passed away.

So much jargon in our culture is about self-esteem and self-image. Some of this is good, a lot of it is centered on the here and now. Take a moment and reflect on what happened when you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior. You went from serving self, sin, and the evil one, to...

MY RELATIONSHIP

I am reconciled to God - 2 Cor 5:18

I'm a child of God - He is my Father - 1 Jn 3:1,2

I am a saint - Eph 1:1; 1 Cor 1:2; Phil 1:1

I am Christ's friend - Jn 15:15

I am a fellow citizen in God's kingdom - Eph 2:19

I am born of God - 1 Jn 4:7

I have been brought near to Christ - Eph 2:13

I have been adopted by God - Rom 8:15

I'm to be righteous and holy like God - Eph 4:24

I have direct access to God - Eph 2:18

MY INHERITANCE

I am a citizen of heaven - Phil 3:20

I am an heir of God - Rom 8:17

I've been rescued from Satan's domain - Col 1:13

I am a joint heir with Christ - Rom 8:17; Gal 4:7

I am hidden with Christ in God - Col 3:3

I am blessed with every spiritual blessing - Eph 1:3

I am chosen of God - holy, beloved - Col 3:12

I am a child of promise - Rom 9:8; Gal 3:14

I am a child of light, not darkness - 1 Thess 5:5

I've been given great promises - 2 Pet 1:4

I am a partaker of Christ - Heb 3:14

I'm one of God's living stones - 1 Pet 2:5

MY TRANSFORMATION

I'm a member of a royal priesthood - 1 Pet 2:9

I'm redeemed and forgiven - Eph 1:6-8

I'm to be a stranger to this world - 1 Pet 2:11

I've been justified - made righteous - Rom 5:1

I'm an enemy of the devil - 1 Pet 5:8

I have eternal life - Jn 5:24

I died w/Christ to the power of sin - Rom 6:1-6

MY CALLING

I am free from condemnation - Rom 8:1

I am to be salt on the earth - Mt 5:13

I have received the Spirit of God -1 Cor 2:12

I am to be light in the world - Mt 5:14

I have been given the mind of Christ - 1 Cor 2:16

I'm chosen and appointed to bear fruit - Jn 15:16

I have been crucified with Christ - Gal 2:20

I am called to do the works of Christ - Jn 14:12

I am a new creation - 2 Cor 5:17

I am to do what Christ commanded His disciples - Mt 28:20

I have been made alive with Christ - Eph 2:5

I have been given spiritual authority - Lk 10:19

I am God's workmanship - Eph 2:10

Signs should accompany my work - Mk 16:17-20

I have received fullness in Christ - Col 2:10

I am a minister of a new covenant - 2 Cor 3:6

I am a minister of reconciliation - 2 Cor 5:18,19

MY POSITION

I am to be an expression of life in Christ - Col 3:4

I am connected to the true vine - Jn 15:1,5

I am a partaker of a heavenly calling - Heb 3:1

I'm a willing slave of righeousness - Rom 6:18,22

I am a temple of God - 1 Cor 3:16; 6:19

I am one spirit with the Lord - 1 Cor 6:17

I am a member of Christ's body - 1 Cor 12:27

* How to Prepare for the Holidays-Pt 4

See part 3

Part 4: General Preparation

There are a number of actions you may take or changes you may incorporate into your life to add to your overall sense of well-being during the holidays.

* Learn some relaxation exercises, and you'll know that at any time, you have the ability to go off by yourself and relax for 10 or 15 minutes. This is a good time to begin regular practice of relaxation and breathing exercises. Regular practice (once or twice a day) will ultimately give you an ability to relax more easily throughout the day. Don’t underestimate this ‘adult time-out’—you might really need it. Leaving a stressful situation to relax can break the connection and when you return that stressor can be gone or minimized.

* Expect the unexpected. Yes, you can prepare for the normal situations that you know will come up in your typical holiday season. But, the unexpected will occur. Don't allow it to take over. Remember that you cannot control everything and your recovery comes first. Whatever your greatest temptation is, have a plan of escape. If you visit your uncle’s house for Thanksgiving dinner and someone pulls out a joint, if your desire is to fit in and feel some much needed acceptance, you might be tempted to take a hit. Like driving a car, expect the unexpected. Most car accidents happen within a three mile radius from your home because the guard is let down. Relax when the car is turned off.

* Now, more than ever, you need a good support system, preferably one made up of people who are also in recovery that can relate. If you don't have one, speak with someone in leadership. Have someone to call—a list of three buddies. If you are going to be in a stressful situation, ask these buddies if you can call or they can be on alert. Like a 911 call, a recovery call can be as serious for someone gripped with stress and temptation, especially if you are away from your familiar circles. The temptation to cheat, to party with those who love to party, or rationalizing that nobody at the party knows you, so… increases greatly during the holidays.

* In the midst of all your giving, giving, giving, remember to give yourself a break and enjoy. Have something to look forward to that will not negatively impact your recovery. Think of things that will bring comfort and relaxation. If you’re a people person, have someone to call. If you like alone time, get off by yourself. If music helps, bring your favorite tunes. Sometimes pictures of friends really help when you feel lonely. Carry them with you to pull out when you feel alone, even in the midst of family when away from home. Have a time with friends already in place after the holiday. The idea of having something to look forward to is very important. Make a list of friends, favorite movie to see, or one of many things to look forward to. This is important if you have to leave a party early and will be alone. Coming home to an empty apartment or home when everyone else is at the party can trigger a lot of emotions. Give yourself a break and enjoy!

* Don't let anyone else tell you what you can and cannot do. Or what you should or should not be able to do. This doesn't mean that you should ignore all advice, particularly that of your sponsor and/or accountability partner. However, don't let people push you into doing something you're not ready to do, especially at a party with family or friends who are not Christians. Most people will respect you if you decline a drink or another activity when you tell them you are in recovery. Don’t be pressured! If you'd like to be able to go somewhere or attend a function, and you don't feel ready, consider working on it with someone close. Don’t forget to reach out and ask for help as well. Others can’t read what you may be feeling inside and if you take this as rejection, you might go further into isolation. DO NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR RECOVERY.

* Set clear boundaries. If you go to an office party or family function knowing there will be drinking or other toxic activities, set clear exit boundaries. You don’t need to stay the entire event. Make your presence felt out of respect (there are usually key people to see) and after that you can quietly leave. Everyone needs to deal with this in their own way according to the situation.

* Get Right Now before the Holidays. If you have a grudge or are holding back negative feelings with a brother or sister in Christ, get right now! This will only add to the stress in your life. If you are in leadership, encourage those to make things right with each other. We are in battle together, and we need to not let the enemy cause division within. As a leader, lead by asking if anyone has a grudge against you. Set the tone in your small group. This will allow others to make things right. The ‘little things’ held within are toxic to the Spirit. It is uncomfortable to ask someone if you can talk, but do it. If you need someone else to help, ask someone you feel comfortable with. If someone asks to speak with you, be humble and hear them out. This is for them, not you. Be used by God to heal, not open wounds! Your response and words can heal or open wounds. Love one another.

* Be Honest with Yourself. For some in recovery they are looking for an excuse to cheat. Rationalizing goes into overdrive during this time of year. When everyone else around you is drinking you might just say, “What the heck…I’ve been working hard like everyone else, I need some fun in my life too.” The temptation increases when everyone seems so carefree and happy. There is no judgment here! Also, recovery is not just those who are wrestling with drugs or alcohol. (See, What is Celebrate Recovery?) For some, their recovery is to avoid being co-dependent and learn to set boundaries knowing it is okay to say ‘no’. For others it is not engaging in offensive language, discolored jokes, gossip, or sarcasm. The holidays are when others see Christians as party poopers. You can be confident in your recovery without compromising. Have a sense of humor about things-- humor diffuses people better than being too serious.

* Visualize Success. Without advocating some type of New Age experience, there is value to visualizing success. In this case it might be sitting in your small group on Friday night and sharing how you avoided temptation and applied many of the tools in recovery. The idea here is when temptation presents itself, you have an anchor or feeling of accountability to make wise choices and to have the strength and confidence to make the right choices. This is very similar to the site Mapquest, going to driving directions, typing in your address and destination address, then hitting enter. Would anyone say that you are not allowing God to control your life? That you can’t predict what will happen and to just relax? Having a map and clear directions is the best way to get where you want to go. Without it, you can wander off, get into arguments with those you’re driving with, have many triggers pulled, acting in very unloving ways. Visualize that “map” for success and set your plans before God. If your plans are for holiness, God will approve.
_____________________________________________________________________

The idea with this series, Preparing for the Holidays, is to not let the negative feelings of the season take control but rather be in control. Being in control is very different than being controlling. We are to allow the Holy Spirit to control our lives, but it is our choice to do so. Those in recovery sometimes live on the fine line between the Spirit and the flesh. In many ways, it’s a tug-of-war and the holiday season can pull the rope onto the flesh side of the mat. This usually compromises recovery and then you find yourself ten steps backwards!

Review this four part series (see right side of blog under Articles to read as one page) and highlight the areas that pertain to you, the areas that are autobiographical. You know you better than anyone, and you know your triggers. Think of a time when you compromised and “blew it.” How did you feel? Sometimes we need to go backwards to move forward.

Lastly, the Celebrate Recovery family is just that, a family! You are not alone over the holiday season. There are Celebrate Recovery meetings happening in every state in the country. That’s a lot of CR people gathering! You are not alone. You might feel lonely, but you are not alone! Share your prayer requests over the holiday. Get serious about this time of the year and have a plan. If you have good relationships, be sensitive to those who do not. There are some who feel they are going at this alone. They might show up each Friday night, but they still feel disconnected. Be sensitive to others. They need you! This is a work of God and God smiles at those who love one another. We need each other. There are no solo Christians that last very long in battle.

Celebrate Recovery Tonight: 6pm Dinner, 7pm Large Group

* How to Prepare for the Holidays- Pt 3

See part 2

Part 3: Solving Your Challenges

If you were able to do a list (see part 2), it's time to decide what you can and cannot control. For example, your mother tends to be openly critical about what you wear. It hurts you most during the holidays because she does it in front of people. Her criticism brings up all sorts of childhood memories and ends up putting a major dent in your self-image (which you've been working so hard on lately).

You cannot control your mother. That's all there is to it. Yes, maybe someday the two of you can sit down and talk rationally about it, but Thanksgiving dinner certainly is not the time. The only thing you can control is how you react to your mother's comments. You may be tempted to avoid your mother altogether, but, often the outcome of avoiding one's mother is far more painful than putting up with some baseless criticism.

Only you can decide the best way for you to handle such a situation, but the bottom line is that you do have control over your reaction to her comments.

One possible reaction is to say, "I appreciate your opinion, Mom, and I think we both know that we don't agree on clothes. I like my outfit a lot." Say it with a smile, and even go one step further by complimenting (if you can do it genuinely) something about her appearance. And move on. That's it; it's over for now.

This one small example is meant to illustrate that you cannot control other people. You may face far more serious situations than a little scuffle about clothing (although the emotions involved in the clothing example are more serious than they appear on the surface). In fact, you don't have much control over your own emotions which rise initially during such a situation. You do have control over what you do about them. When your mom criticizes you, don't beat yourself up for feeling that initial blow to your self-image. Feel it, react with care, and move on.

Your solutions will be as many and varied as your challenges. By breaking down the holidays into each situation you may face, you'll find that the season is more manageable for you. When you write your list, you may find that you can't figure out a solution. Don't just leave it, wait for the situation to arrive, and hope to think of a solution then. Take your list to a friend to work through the situation and come up with appropriate coping methods.

Tomorrow: Part 4: General Preparation

How to Prepare for the Holidays-Pt 2

See part 1

Part 2: How to Prepare for the Holidays

By now, you probably have begun some sort of preparation for the holiday season, even if it's simply some initial thinking about what you need to do. It's also time to think about what to do to make sure you stick to your recovery during the holidays.

Write It Down
Writing down your problems, anxieties and concerns is often helpful. Just expressing the many racing thoughts which can lead to increased anxiety can help. However, you can also use writing as a proactive problem-solving exercise.

Set aside some time to do the following exercise, a time when you will not be interrupted and when you can start and finish the exercise in one sitting.

On a sheet of paper or your word processor, create three columns. Label the columns with the following headers:

* The Problem

* Why the Problem May Bother Me

* What I Can Do About It

Start by listing every possible situation, person, or anything else which may bother you during the holiday season. Be as specific as you can. In other words, rather than writing, "I'll be depressed," think of the situations or thoughts or interactions which might result in your feeling depressed. Also, try to break down general situations, like "holiday parties." What exactly about parties will bother you? It might sound obvious, but different aspects of parties affect people differently. Maybe you've even decided not to attend any parties, but you'll still have to deal with refusing invitations and the aftermath ("Oh, we had such a great time; why weren't you there?").

As you write down these possible areas of concern, don't underestimate the impact avoidance may have on your emotions and your recovery. It's best to think about what you plan to do now rather than when the situations start coming up. Attending family gatherings, for example, may cause you a lot of anxiety, but how will you feel when you are sitting home alone? It's OK if you feel you must make that decision, but be ready to handle your feelings after the decision has been made.

At the same time you are writing down the areas of concern, you may also think of why these areas will bother you, including how you think you'll feel because of these situations. Be honest with yourself. You might even rate the severity of your emotions in order to best judge when you will be feeling worst.

Also, jot down ways you would like to positively impact people. Think of a few people you would like to encourage over the holidays. Who can you reach out to? Maybe send an early card to a specifc personality that might be difficult a week before you arrive for dinner.

These are just a few suggestions to get you going. Each person has their unique circumstances, but the key idea here is to prepare for the holidays in order to stay true to your recovery.

Tomorrow: Part 3 Solving Your Challenges

* Preparing for the Holidays-Pt1

The following is a four part series on practical coping skills during the holiday season. These skills do not set aside prayer and other core spiritual disciplines, but hone in on areas that may directly challenge one in recovery. They are just suggestions to add to your set of recovery skills.

With the clocks turned back and it getting dark early, the holiday season is approaching. Memories of past relationships, stressful conversations with family members, and feelings of sadness can pop in and out of our mind. Good feelings can be felt as well, but we usually don’t need help coping with those. It is the difficult feelings that can trigger us into compromising our recovery.

Keep in mind that even if you don't think you're vulnerable during this season, there are probably many in your circles who are. The following can be a good resource to develop awareness for what others might wrestle with. It is also a season where many exemplify excessive behaviors that they've been hiding--the person you work with who seems together and at the staff party drinks like a fish, acting in ways you've never considered before. God might use you to lead another into a conversation about what recovery is and why it might be important for them.

Part 1: The Challenges
Holidays may bring on a confusing array of emotions for anyone. People in recovery may be especially vulnerable. We may feel the effects of sadness, loneliness, seasonal depression and stress more easily than others do. Rather than allowing these problems to impede your recovery efforts, start preparing now for the weeks to come.

Depression
It is not unusual for depression to accompany the anxiety of the holiday season. Because depression may make recovery difficult, extra care should be taken to deal with it as soon as the symptoms are detected.

The holidays may magnify many of the situations
that are normally difficult for people.

For example, if you have difficulty going to parties, you may be faced with the decision of how to handle various invitations. Whether you go or not, you will be challenging your ability to cope, and if you feel you have failed, depression may follow. No one situation can cause you to be depressed; however, it's easy to see how these situations may build up in a very short time.

A party is but one small example. You may have to cope with loneliness, family tensions, and grief. If you are not prepared for these situations, you may become overwhelmed easily.

If you find yourself becoming depressed every year around this time, you might have seasonal depression. This is experienced depression during the autumn and winter months.

Stress
Holidays are stressful for many of us. Stress is your body's reaction to change, both internal and external. For most people, the holidays involve a great deal of change. Changes may be little: perhaps you have a lot of guests coming and you'll have to rearrange various rooms in your house. And changes may be huge: maybe this is your first holiday without one of your parents.

Each of these changes involves different coping skills, and you should deal with each separately. Additionally, you shouldn't underestimate the impact of those "little" changes. Stress may build up quickly, making you vulnerable to your specific triggers.

Stress might cause a relapse or, at least, halt your recovery for a while. As with depression, it's important to be aware of what's going on inside. You know right now that the next couple of months will be stressful. You can't control everything that will happen, but you can learn how to cope with your reactions.

We can't prevent most changes in life, and we probably wouldn't want to! The holidays can be a wonderful time of celebrating and being in the company of good people. Since you cannot prevent change and, therefore, cannot prevent stress, you'll want to learn the many ways you can cope with stress.

Grief
You may find yourself grieving during the holidays for any number of reasons. We grieve if a loved one dies, but other major losses may cause grief as well. Family relationships may produce intense emotions. Maybe one of your children will be away during the holidays this year. Maybe there was a family conflict during the year, and you won't be seeing certain relatives. Many situations like these can produce feelings of emptiness and loss.

For whatever reason you may be grieving, it's important to learn about grief and how you can cope with the situation. Don't underestimate the impact grief may have on you during a particular day. Reach out to family members and friends who may have experienced the same loss. Face it together.

Loneliness
Holidays may produce intense feelings of loneliness, particularly because so many of us have ideals of what the "perfect" holiday should be. It's possible to feel lonely even with a group of people, particularly if that one special person is missing from the group.

Loneliness may hit hard, and you shouldn't think of yourself as immune from such feelings. Additionally, loneliness is one emotion that feeds depression. Think about where you will be this holiday season and how it will make you feel. Even if you will be alone during part of the holidays, you can plan ways to make yourself comfortable. One idea is to have several phone numbers of “buddies” available to call. Tell your support friends that you might be calling during a specific time.

Tomorrow: Part 2: How to Prepare for the Holidays

* Conflict Resolution

At the risk of departing from the usual devotion, I am going to share a life event that happened this past Saturday after the prayer vigil against the porn industry.

When I got home from the prayer vigil, within minutes, there was a knock at my door. It was my neighbor, a 28 year old male. We did some small talk and I asked him inside wondering what he wanted. From time-to-time he comes over wanting to go out for a bike ride or to the beach.

As he walked in the house he asked for his gym pass from LA Fitness. He had given the pass to me months ago stating he never used it. I interpreted this as him not wanting it anymore. After using the pass several times, one afternoon I walked into the gym, and as they scanned the pass the staff member behind the counter told me I didn’t look like the person in the photo I.D. I told him it was my neighbor’s pass and he let me use it. This is against gym policy and I had to give it up. I haven’t used the pass in over six weeks.

As I continued eating my bowl of rice and chicken, my neighbor raised his voice and said, “WHERE’S MY PASS!” I told him I didn’t have it anymore. He then raised his voice even louder and said, “WHERE’S MY (very strong expletive) PASS DUDE!”

I was shocked. We have gotten along fine up to this point and for the life of me I could not understand what was going on. He seemed so charged and angry. As I tried to explain he went off again. Then, he stormed out of the house swearing more.

WOW! I just got home from a prayer vigil and now my neighbor hates me. What happened?

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus clearly deals with life’s practical difficulties, most of which are relational (brother to brother). Here, Jesus is dealing with anger, and it is strong teaching. I think the essential questions to ask are;
* Why is Jesus so serious about this subject?
* What does this communicate about His character as Lord?

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to that person; then come and offer your gift.

“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.”

Matthew 5:21-26

Some great principles of conflict resolution here:

Don’t condemn the other person.
Within Jesus’ words His own encouragement is of not degrading the other. He says, “Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell” (Matthew 5:22b). The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia (ISBE) defines Raca as “Vain or worthless fellow; a term of contempt used by the Jews in the time of Christ.”

One of the worst things that we can do when in conflict is to narrow the one with whom we disagree down to two-dimensions by resorting to an ad hominem argument. We execute this type of argument when we argue against a position someone else is taking by verbally attacking them personally. Not only is this logically fallacious but it can also exacerbate a disagreement because the one with whom you disagree may be offended. Suddenly we’re talking about them and not about why they believe what they believe. They can feel demeaned. Employing this kind of argumentation distances relationships and makes reconciliation that much harder.
--Maybe it was because I just came from a prayer vigil, but I was very calm. I usually go down when another goes up. I focused on the facts of “why” I didn’t have the gym pass despite him not wanting to hear it or being controlled by his anger. He came into my house with his mind already made up about the matter. There was no reasoning with him.

Lean into the controversy by settling matters quickly.
Jesus counsels resolution before escalation to third parties. It is better if two folks can settle things themselves. It, I believe, adds more protection to the relationship. And this is to be done quickly, even the offering of gifts at the altar is to be set aside while reconciliation is sought.
--After he left and I calmed down some, I called LA Fitness and asked what to do if a member loses a pass. I was told there was a $5 renewal fee. I waited 30 minutes, walked to my car, got $5 then I walked across the street. Instead of dealing with my neighbor, I went to his older brother and explained, offering the money to him. Then his mother came out. I explained that the gym told me the membership had been cancelled when they found out I wasn’t a member which confirmed to me he indeed didn’t want the pass or membership anymore and offered to give the money to her for a new pass.

As I tried to make peace rather than allowing my pride (I was right and he was wrong and disrespectful) take over, I moved on the matter. After I got home, 10 minutes later his brother came over to my house. I thought he was going to give me an update on the situation. He asked for a wrench because his water heater had a leak. Go figure. I went over and helped him with the leak. Both he and his mother drove with me to OSH and bought a replacement hose. They offered to buy me a coffee at Starbucks and we sat for a bit talking before going back to the house to fix the water heater.

I called about an hour later to speak with my neighbor but he had gone for a bike ride. His mother said all was fine and to not worry about anything. My natural desire is to want to make things right, and in this case speak with him directly, but I listened to his mother and let it go.

In Jesus’ teaching we see some of the answers to the above questions posted. Jesus is consistent with His design. He created the world and as part of this creation, we see the importance of relationships. In Jesus’ teaching, the dignity of a soul is always supreme. I think it’s fair to say Jesus hates The Jerry Springer Show. Shows like this bring a destructive element into society making it seem reasonable to become extremely offensive because the worth of a soul is diminished to the anger of another’s hatred.

What is your relational style when dealing with conflict?
* Do you attack the person instead of the idea?
* Do you attempt to settle things quickly to avoid anger rooting deeply into the relationship?
* Are you willing to take the first step to resolve conflict or do you wait for the other person to do so?

The wisdom of Jesus is rooted in His character and holiness. He is love and wants us to relate with a view of love consistent to His character because we are made in His image. This gives glory to the Father and should be the desire of all who follow Jesus as Lord. I will not skirt the issue telling you my pride wasn’t wounded—it was, and I wanted to attack for a short time, and was tempted to do so verbally in our quick exchange.

The Deeper View
My neighbor was a victim of a drive-by shooting about ten years ago. He has lived in virtual isolation until recently coming outside to do yard work, riding his bike and going to the beach. He seemed in shock for such a long time. His relational style is very narrow. He is hyper-sensitive to conflict and gets hurt easily. I don’t know him well, but I “feel” him when I am around him. He is wound super-tight and has strong black and white thinking. This became evident when he came over Saturday. If I attacked him verbally by telling him to get a life and grow up, to start dealing with the real world and learn how to live with others what would have been the result?

By God’s grace that didn’t happen, but it would have in the past. I would have directly come after him and have done with others in the past. I can stand back and see this event as something God used in my life because for a long time I related like my neighbor, especially at his age. I was very sensitive and would think things through before actually relating to a person. In my mind I had everything clearly down, got emotionally charged only to find out I usually missed the obvious.

One aspect of Celebrate Recovery I have come to appreciate is the small group sharing. This gives me a deeper view of each person’s life story. It has allowed me to see things deeper in the lives of others rather than being limited by my own personal feelings.

My desire today is to make peace, to go the extra mile and I thank Jesus for His teaching knowing it is wise and beneficial for all parties involved. My classroom for this life lesson was my living room.

Thank you Jesus and might my neighbor one day know You.