by Joe Ventura
Admitted to God, to ourselves,
and to another human being,
the exact nature of our wrongs.
Therefore confess your sins to each other and
pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5:16a)
I have been house-sitting a dog named Sparky. She’s an adorable dog, full of life, and always moving forward. The other dog Sally is a rescue pup I’ve been fostering. I decided to take them for a walk early morning.
We usually walk a few miles in and around the neighborhood. Sparky can pull so hard I attach the leash to my waist to offset the pull. Sally tags along for the ride.
At the end of my walk, I saw a man about 55 smoking a cigarette in his underwear against his fence. Just as I was about to say good morning, Sparky decides it was time to do her business.
I tried to talk her out of it, but no-go. She freely did her thing and was ready to go!
Immediately I hear a stern voice shout, “You know that’s against the law don’t you?” I just looked at him. He then spends the next few minutes hard-balling me verbally about the law and what I should have done.
I told him I would come back and pick it up. He still kept hurling verbal bullets at me. I left by saying, “Enjoy your smoke!”
I knew this would hang over me. I felt justified and guilty at the same time. He didn’t have to come at me like that. He didn’t want to hear my point of view. He kept saying over and over, “I don’t care about what you have to say!”
Step-study has made me aware of my deep father wound. This man triggered that wound with his verbal attack and unwillingness to listen to reason, blaming me for everything.
I finished walking the dogs home, thinking about how I would respond if I saw him again.
Leaving Sally home, Sparky and I headed back to the house with bag and drum stick in hand to clean things up. I said I would return and I was going to!
When I came to the man’s house he was standing outside waiting. Before I could say a word he came at me again;
“Why did you give me a hard time?
“The law says you need to pick up after you dog”
“Why did you give me a hard time?”
After ten minutes of intense discussion I left. He told me he followed me home, took a picture of my house, would document the incident and took a picture of the dog’s mess. I told him he seemed very angry and if he simply spoke to me like an adult this could have been avoided.
Did I say it was an intense discussion?
After I got home, I mulled it over in my mind and had things all wrapped up. It was his fault we got into it and I was just reacting to him.
Then my conscience showed up!
Mr. Conscience said, “Joe…you are a Christian. What kind of witness for Jesus did you just have?”
BOOM! I knew this was the point of no return. Either I listen to the Holy Spirit or I don’t!
I sat down at the computer and wrote the man a letter. Then I put it in an envelope, sealed it and drove back to his house. When I walked up the driveway I had a peace. I also knew my presence would cause his pack a day smoking habit to increase significantly.
I put the envelope in his mail box, and his dog started barking loudly. As I walked down the driveway he yelled, “What’s this about?” I told him I apologize and that I wrote a few words. He informed me he was on the phone and would read it.
The tone of his voice radically shifted after I told him, I apologize. With one word, the hard wall fell in a second and he seemed human after all.
My small group has made me aware of personal struggles—the issues of life I battle with. But when I have the opportunity (control) to make things right, I need to do so, especially when it involves human relations. I know this is extremely important to God, peace with all men.
Pursue peace with everyone, as well as holiness,
without which no one will see the Lord. –Hebrews 12:14
Made direct amends to such people whenever possible,
except when to do so would injure them or others.
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and
there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24)
Below is the letter I wrote and delivered.
8 July 2008
Dear Sir,
This morning we had an exchange regarding my dog and your lawn.
I apologize for my attitude. I am a Christian and did not react appropriately to you when confronted initially. I am not the dog’s owner and am house-sitting her. I honestly did not know about the law, but common sense dictates that I am responsible despite my ignorance of the law.
I did not walk with a poop bag and should have. I will walk the dogs with a bag from now on. As a homeowner you should not have to pick up after others, and after 35 years of home ownership, you deserve the respect.
I know in my neighborhood how it bothers me when drivers' park too close to my driveway, making it very difficult to exit. Only just this morning was I thinking about this before my walk with the dogs.
My father is 81 and he asked a new neighbor if they could control their dog from barking during the day (the dogs would bark 4-5 hours a day at high volume). The guy said he was going to call the police on my dad.
When I visited that night I saw my dad visibly upset. He told me what the neighbor said and I almost went though the roof, heading out the door for justice when my dad ordered me to drop it.
I don’t want to be like that guy!
Again, sorry,
Joe Ventura
