* The Bible & Depression

Depression for the Christian can be a game of guilt. How can those who have received the gift of life be depressed? Aren’t we to die to self and to take up our cross daily?

The heart is very complex and everyone has a different story. Anyone who gives flippant advice to someone in need can be very hurtful. A wise man guards his words, seeking first to understand before speaking. When someone shares their heart condition, this is a place of honor before God, that He would use you to listen first, and then possibly offer words of encouragement to someone in need. When someone opens up, usually the pain if far deeper than the words expressed initially.

What does the Bible have to offer one struggling with ongoing depression?

First, the topic is clearly addressed. The word depression is not usually used in translation, but the topic is seen from Old Testament to New Testament.

The first place most think of turning to is Psalms where the heart is revealed and emotions expressed vividly.

Psalms 42:11
Why are you downcast, O my soul? . . . Put your hope in God . . .

Depression is the "common cold of the mind". It jars us like an emotional whiplash. It's a flashing signal that something is wrong in a person's life or relationships. Depression is a natural response to some kind of real or perceived loss. It also can be a feeling that has no attachment to a significant event or cause. This type of depression is more ongoing and usually associated with someone struggling with depression.

The first question a Christian often asks when they seek help for depression is "Is depression a sin?”

There are some Bible greats that suffered from depression.
Moses, (Exodus 18)
Elijah, (1 Kings 19)
Jonah, (Jonah 4)
David (Psalms 69 and many others).

If you study the lives of these men you will notice that all of them had not taken care of themselves physically. They were exhausted, without proper food and sleep. Emotionally they were afraid, or felt inferior to the job, or were angry with God for loving their enemies. God never condemned them. He sent someone to help them carry the load, or He made them get food and rest before he restored them.

We see that it is an honor to be used by God in someone’s life who comes to you in need. Do you see this as a sovereign act? A direct call from God? It truly is an honor and very humbling. Many ask God for a significant life, but fail to see the importance in the little things that aren’t big and bold, that don’t have the attachment of applause associated…just the quiet call or note from someone that says, “Can we talk?”

The depressed person needs hope and continual reassurance. Many of David's Psalms begin in great depression but they end with "I will trust in God." Depression dims our perspective of how God is working in our lives. To win over depression a person will have to trust in God, change his/her thinking, learn to forgive themselves and others, accept themselves and circumstances and lastly humble themselves to seek help. God can take this "dark night of the soul" and transform it into great spiritual growth and commitment. Other might need medical attention if symptoms persist.

More biblical reference to depression:
Psalms 34:17-22; 40:1-5; 69
Isaiah.43:1-7; 61:1-3.

If someone comes to you sharing their story of depression, here are some helpful tips;

1. You are not their doctor.
It is not up to you to cause change, so there shouldn’t be pressure, just concern. Be careful not to delve too deep into their issues. Be watch eye on their language. Note any reference to harming themselves. If you feel a deep concern, call someone you know that is more experienced in these matters. If they present a state of being that is so despondent, keep them in your company until you can get help. Make it clear you are concerned and want to get the best help needed.

2. Make sure you have the time to engage at the level they present themselves at.
If not, be clear upfront that you are limited in time and offer to either talk at another later (soon) or try to find someone to help. If you make a commitment to call, then by all means call them back! Ask them if you could pray, even over the phone, Christian or non-Christian. Make your prayer short and to the point. Don’t ramble on for minutes. Keep in mind the prayer is for their blessing and God’s, not your ingenious insights to the problem at hand. Humility is always the wise rule. It is the Holy Spirit that causes change.

3. Do not listen only to tell them what worked for you!
Avoid inside-out advice; “Here’s what I did…” or “ I think you should…” Unless someone asks you for advice, avoid the temptation of making yourself feel better by rescuing the needy soul. Even if they do ask for advice, be wise. Stay within your limitations. Speak with the awareness that you are in front of the elders at your church. Would you say the same things with this awareness?

4. Ask questions.
When listening, wait for the appropriate pause, and ask a question rather than speaking at the person. Talk about their symptoms, their feelings, and what is going on in their mind. It's ok (if they allow it) to talk about their confusion, forgetfulness, suicidal thoughts, procrastination, social withdrawal, physical pain, loneliness, lack of self worth.

5. Don't be judgmental or overly directive
Listen and care. Help them to realize that although this is very personal and painful, they are not alone, you are there for them and most of their symptoms are shared by other depressed people. To show empathy for another person is to place yourself in their situation. You cannot know what they are feeling or experiencing unless you genuinely listen to them without being judgmental or overly directive. Although their emotions and feelings might seem foreign to you, for them these feelings are real and can be justified given their experiences and the emotions caused by the depression.

6. Be prayerful.
Be in prayer as you listen. Ask God to give you confidence and peace, to speak through you, to give you a spirit of encouragement and wisdom, that your words be healing, that you have self-control in what you say, that you don’t feel pressured to fix.

7. Specific ways to help
* Take a walk together.
Walking together is a way to bond with a person. There is a common rhythm or cadence set when you walk with someone which fosters a synchronization of mind and of mood. A break or lapse in conversation during a walk is not as awkward as it might be in other situations. Depression has a way of locking one down. A walk gets them out of the house and gets the blood flowing. It gives a person a sense of acceptance that you would take the time to come over and walk with them.

* Help them with areas of procrastination
This usually is something beneath the surface. Ask them after their initial story has passed, maybe after walking for a time if they have any pressing items that need to be done; paying bills, shopping for food, doing dishes, mowing a lawn, get an oil change for their car. It is these “little things” that weigh on a person.

* Ask them if they would like a call at a later time.

* Ask them how you can encourage them.

* Have a clear ending to your time.
You will most likely have to take the initiative here. Try not to close your time littered with clichés like;
-- Hang in there, things will get better
-- All things work together for good
-- What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger

Ask them if you could pray (quick prayer), give them a hug, and tell then you appreciate their confidence and trust.

A final note…
Be aware that someone could get attached to you. They can start calling daily. Make clear boundaries. This can be very hard for some. Tell them you want to think over the idea of being an accountability partner. Give them an assignment. Ask them to read some Scripture you assign or to start journaling, to walk 30 minutes each day, to make a list of the foods they eat for a week. This will make them take personal responsibility in their recovery.