The Answer to the Paralysis of Low Self-Esteem
What is the biblical solution when a person is paralyzed by a sense of guilt or unworthiness or uselessness? Is it a better sense of self-esteem? What about those in the bible? Surely the bible characters and those living in biblical times did not always feel great about their lives.
A Look at Moses
When God came to Moses with a mission to lead his people out of Israel, he said, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and bring the sons of Israel out of Egypt? . . . O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue." (Exodus 3:11; 4:10).
The reason God got angry at Moses is not because of his humble assessment of his own abilities, but of his lack of faith in God's ability.
God responded and said to Moses, "Who made man's mouth? Who makes him dumb, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak" (Exodus 4:11–12).
God did not say to Moses, "Stop putting yourself down. You are somebody. You are eloquent." That is not a biblical pattern. What God said was, "Stop looking at your own unworthiness and uselessness and look at me. I made the mouth. I will be with you. I will help you. I will teach you what to say. Look to me and live!"
The biblical answer to the paralysis of low self-esteem is not high self-esteem; it is sovereign grace.
You can test whether you agree with this by whether you can gladly repeat the words of Isaiah 41:13, "Fear not, you worm Jacob . . . I will help you, says the Lord; your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel." In other words, God's way of freeing and mobilizing people who see themselves as worms is not to tell them that they are beautiful butterflies but rather to say, "I will help you. I am your redeemer . . . Go to Egypt now, and I will be with you."
A Look at David
"The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise" (Psalm 51:17). Everyone agrees that this is the spirit that pleases God after you are taken in adultery and murder. But what about the times when you are doing good?
When the collection for the temple was being taken, David prayed, "But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand." (1 Chronicles 29:14).
In other words, even when David and his people were performing an act of virtue, David did not yield to the impulses of self-esteem. Instead he was carried away by the impulses of sovereign grace: "Who are we that we should be able thus to offer willingly! To God be the esteem, to God! and not to us, even in our virtue.
Other Important People in the Bible
Job
"I had heard of thee by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees thee; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes" (Job 42:5–6).
Isaiah
"Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!" (Isaiah 6:5).
So we learn from Job and Isaiah that one source of lowliness is to see God in his power and holiness.
Paul
"I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh" (Roman 7:18).
"We have this treasure in earthen vessels to show that the transcendent power belongs to God and not to us" (2 Corinthians 4:7).
"I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth" (1 Corinthians 3:6–7).
"I am the foremost of sinners; but I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience for an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life" (1 Timothy 1:15–16).
What Then Is Poverty of Spirit?
- It is a sense of powerlessness in ourselves.
- It is a sense of spiritual bankruptcy and helplessness before God.
- It is a sense of moral uncleanness before God.
- It is a sense of personal unworthiness before God.
- It is a sense that if there is to be any life or joy or usefulness, it will have to be all of God and all of grace.
It is a SENSE of powerlessness...
It is a SENSE of bankruptcy...
It is a SENSE of uncleanness...
It is a SENSE of unworthiness...
Objectively speaking, everybody is poor in spirit. Everybody, whether they sense it or not, is powerless without God and bankrupt and helpless and unclean and unworthy before God. But not everybody is "blessed."
When Jesus says, "Blessed are the poor in spirit," he does not mean everybody. He means those who feel it. That is why it is so appropriate to take the first and second beatitudes together. "Blessed are those who mourn," clarifies the subjective side of being poor in spirit.
Blessed are the poor in spirit who mourn. Blessed are the people who feel keenly their inadequacies and their guilt and their failures and their helplessness and their unworthiness and their emptiness—who don't try to hide these things under a cloak of self-sufficiency, but who are honest about them and grieved and driven to the grace of God.
Blessed are you! because you are going to be comforted. Fear not, you worm, Jacob! Fear not, Moses, Jeremiah (Jeremiah 1:6–8), Isaiah, Peter! For I will be with you, I will help you, I will strengthen you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. Yours is the very kingdom of God.
The world and the flesh says, "Your worth is in your external appearance, accomplishments, skills, talents, and abilities.
God says..."No, no, no! You've bought the lie. My way is different. Stop looking at your own abilities, your own unworthiness and uselessness and look at me. I will be with you. I will help you. I will teach you what to say. I am your redeemer. Look to me and live!"
Dear God,
Thank you that I can stop trying harder. Thank you that I can be honest before you and others. I don't have to hide anymore or play the game. I can admit I am weak, that I feel unlovely, unworthy, sad, depressed, angry, impure, confused...and you will show up in the midst of this. You will be with me. You will help me like you have for all the people of the bible. Like you have for all those who have called on your name because you and you alone are God. There is no other. You are the creator. You know. You understand. You are God. Thank you father for freedom, peace, joy, blessing. May I walk in the light to love you and others as you have loved me. Help me to experience your love when I feel low and sad, when I feel all alone in this world. I come to you, not my flesh or my external virtues. When I focus on these they are never enough. I become a slave to the very thing that kills my spirit. These are not the value of my worth...you are. Help me to experience you more today Lord...I long for you like never before.
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